The Aristocrats Talk Fistfights, Touring, And Robot Pigs [Interview]
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Right now, The Aristocrats are one of the most infamous fusion-oriented bands on the planet. If you’re a regular TMMP reader, you’re probably well aware of them by now – but if you’re new and curious, or your memory needs refreshing, click here for many a reason to become a fan.
Besides being generous with their notes, these noble gentlemen are also generous with their time. With a four-month European tour kicking off in Cologne on November 16th before winding its way across the continent, TMMP talked to The Aristocrats about fistfights, touring, coffee, and robot pigs…
You’re three of the hardest-working musicians on the planet, and you have a hectic European tour running from November until February! How do you keep yourselves gig-ready amidst such a chaotic schedule?
Bryan Beller (Bass): Lots and lots of coffee. And naps. And then more coffee.
Guthrie Govan (Guitar): I always thought that being gig-ready should actually be easier if you’re gigging constantly, and that “rust” would be more likely to kick in after taking a long break from playing.
Marco Minnemann (Drums): Comfortable travel schedule, good sleep and good food. That helps. After the show…whatever happens.
What are your pre-show rituals?
Bryan: A nap. And then coffee.
Guthrie: Finding a secret smoking area.
Marco: Reclusiveness.
What’s the most awkward onstage situation you’ve ever had to deal with?
Bryan: I once got in a fistfight with the drummer from the band going on after us. 10 people jumped in. It happened onstage and looked like a scene from a movie.
Guthrie: I remember one Asia gig where an enormous and dangerously inebriated guy climbed up onto the stage and basically kidnapped Geoff Downes mid-song. He picked him up and started running straight towards me with an understandably alarmed-looking keyboard player in his arms.
I have no idea what the guy was hoping to achieve by doing this, but I did find the experience somewhat disconcerting: though capable of hoisting Geoff up into the air with the greatest of ease, he was evidently struggling to sustain verticality.
Marco: I once ripped two foot tendons while jumping off a drum riser onto a wet stage. And that event was very audible for both stage cast and crowd.
Over the course of so many shows, how have you learnt to deal with performance anxiety? Has it ever been an issue?
Bryan: Yes, more so when I was younger, only occasionally now. For me it helps to remember that they’ve already paid to see us play and they want us to be good. So, might as well be good!
Guthrie: The only way to deal with that kind of anxiety is to confront it head-on by gigging as much as possible. Personally, I’ve never really had a huge problem with nerves onstage. The only thing that really freaks me out nowadays is when the people in the front row are more interested in filming the show rather than actually watching it.
I find it much harder to feel any kind of connection with audience members when the front row looks like an Apple Store.
Marco: I find it actually fun to go onstage and play, and always have, because that was the reason I wanted to [do] this. Pretty much defines my lifestyle – enjoy the things and be around humans you like.
It’s been argued that you need to put in 10,000 hours of focussed practice in order to become world-class at something. Roughly how many hours would you guess you’ve each put in on your instruments?
Bryan: Far, far less than 10,000 hours. But at least this means I’m a world class sleeper.
Guthrie: I honestly have no idea but people tell me that I started playing when I was three years old.
This means that I’ve been playing for 40 years, which by my calculations would amount to 14,610 days. Over that period, racking up the supposedly magic total of 10,000 hours would only require playing for an average of 41 minutes per day.
I’m fairly sure that I’ve played a lot more than that, though I never really attached any importance to counting the hours.
Marco: Since we’re playing so much, I’m sure there’s some “mileage” through experience happening, but a certain amount of hours sounds vague. I guess when one’s passionate about something, it will be executed frequently anyways.
If money and good taste weren’t issues, what would your stage show look like?
Bryan: KISS. Or the Robert Palmer video for Addicted To Love.
Guthrie: I like to think that it might look exactly the same!
Marco: We would have a section where the pigs are life size robots and will play one of our songs on their own.
During the making of Tres Caballeros, what was your creative process like?
Bryan: We all wrote our songs in advance by ourselves, so…at the studio while we tracked? Lots of coffee. Then lots of notes. Then more coffee.
Guthrie: Agreed – there was definitely a lot of coffee involved.
Marco: I wrote lots of songs, kept 3 of the trio-translatable ones for Tres Caballeros, and some of the other ones went onto my latest solo album.
What’s the most difficult thing about being a musician?
Bryan: Explaining to your family that you want to be a musician before you get your first paying gig.
Guthrie: I wouldn’t like to say…it would be easy to complain about a whole range of Little Things but, overall, being a musician really isn’t such a bad life. I think that’s probably why we do it.
Marco: The travels sometimes, and therefore maintaining relationships and a home.
Beyond this tour, what do you have planned for the future?
Bryan: Many more naps. Much less travel. Still plenty of coffee.
Guthrie: Lots more touring. Some people just never learn!
Marco: Designing the said robot pigs.
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Header image © Mike Mesker.